Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
