The maid of honor just puked.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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