So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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