Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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