Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
