I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
