Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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