I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
