So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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