how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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