Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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