so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
