Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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