No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
