Have you finally orgasmed yet?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
wow bdsm is so cute
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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