1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
