I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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