with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
