Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
