You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
