I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
