jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize