I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
