Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
