how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
