I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize