i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
