Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
