I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
