Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
