is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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