and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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