i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
