Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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