I accidentally had phone sex last night
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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