He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Randomize
