It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
should my penis look like a turkey
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
