one two three fourrrrnication!
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
