Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
