brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
