Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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