your parents love me but you hate me
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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