it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
