i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
