she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
