Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i dont even know how to be here
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
