the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
