I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
