Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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