Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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