Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
