Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
