Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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